Define REAL..

What is real? is it the life we live? or the better live we thrive for? is it what we see on TV or NOT what we see on TV? is it what hurts, ir what makes you smile?
what is real?
I've been having this question playing in my head for quite some time now.. not sure why..
Maybe because I've been feeling like I'm living out of the script of my life, that all that's around isn't real, and that I should hang on until REAL unfolds..
Maybe because i've read that all of what happens, happens only in our heads. happenings are neutral, they just happen, but it's the reading, the interpretation we project on them that give them meaning, either one we like, or one we dislike..
Maybe because even in medecine, we've learnt that what the eyes see isn't what the object is about, and that your sensed can trick, lure you, deceive you, manipulate you..


what is real then? what is REAL?
I'm currently still in the long confusing process of figuring that out, but I do know it doesn't have anything to do with senses, that it starts with the heart/mind, it doesn't matter who is leading who as long as they're dancing together harmoniously..




That's a place to start...

what defines me..

i'm not sure if that's a question or the beginning of an answer.. but i do know it's a place to start, and it's leading me somewhere..

i've recntly read a quote, someone said that we are defined by what we resist. i found that laughably wrong at first, but after giving it a thought, it didn't seem that wrong..
we are defined by the things we don't want in our lives, if we allow them to control our thinking.. the minute we start thinking 'i don't want this' and 'i don't want that', 'this' and 'that' start manifesting themselves in your lives.. simply because that's all you're focusing on.
and it makes sense, actually. i know this very well as i went through it. instead of focusing on what i wanted, i was focusing on what i didn't want. result? more of what i didn't want in my life, which made me think more about what i don't want, and gave me more of it.. a never ending vicious cycle.
the good news is that it's breakable. the minute you decide to start focusing on what you want, it starts manifesting, reveiling itself. and even better, when what you want is what you have, you have solved the equation of eternal happiness.

so.. that's the recipe you and i should be following:
1/be thankful
2/think of what you want
3/embrace what live gives you and don't resist..

so when you focus on life, on possibilities, on all that can be, only then you'll be undefined, unlimited, as big as life..

live happily everyone =)

midnight thought.

If you don't do it for you, if it doesn't start from within, it simply won't last.

there's a life after a U-turn

Assalamo alaykom..

I started this blog like 9 moths ago. 

I still remember how I felt when I uploaded that banner (that many of you liked) and chose the blog name.. I was still a newly hijabi and I had that firm dream, determination that I’m gonna do my best to tell the world about islam and that I’m going to “write to improve” myself and other.

I still remember, oh I do..

But what happened next was.. well not strange, it happens foe the best of us. I lost interest. I don’t know what made the interest evaporate but I know I lost interest in many other things along the way, and I broke too many promises I vowed to myself. And that made me depressed, and got me feeling worse..

But now I say enough is enough.. I’ve been wandering lifelessly for way too long now. I’m not saying I’ll be posting regularly here, that’s so not the point, I can post twice a day and my life would be still a mess. But what I’m saying here is that I’ll start living as the old Me again. Thank god, my religiosity is the one element that haven’t been so “disfigured” here, and that’ll be my starting block. Ain’t no other way, I  tried to induce the will from the outside but it really, really never worked. Outside motivation helps you strengthen and solidify your change, sort of “save as” for you new file, but it doesn’t create the file. I also found that no matter how someone says they love you, or are supposed to love you, they will never love you as much as Allah does, that fact always fascinates me. So if my god loves the most, shouldn’t I love him and obey him the most? And doesn’t that mean I should turn to him instead of seeking outsider advice? Yes! Of course yes!! So I’ll keep reminding myself of that..

Insha’allah I’ll be writing about my "hopefully-soon-to-be-called-previous" issues here, and theses aren't just my issues, they're universal issues if i may say so. I’ll express my opinion and I’d love to know what you readers think of that. Your constructive opinions matter to me. A nice critique is always welcome, but just make sure it’s like rain that gently makes you grow, not a rainy strom that tears you down (thanks jiji <3 )

I’m just beginning, the pen’s in my hand.. =)

yaaaay :)

i've been away for a while, i know, i know.. don't shoot me !!
internet issues here in my country! but if that's the cost of freedom, then sure i can go a few days without internet..facebook..blogger.... ='(
anyways.. now that the connection is fine, i'll seize the chance to say "thaaaaaaaaaank you to sister rosewater for giving me the butterfly award..

She's just the sweetest butterfly herself.. i mean, i know many good bloggers around here, but this woman writes with such a passion and love for life and for islam and with such care for details that most of us ignore (did you girls see how she wrote our names and our blog titles?) that you can't help but read..dive in her reflections and thoughts.. and enjoy..

so.. game rules:
1)write something nice about yourself
2) pass the award to other people you think they deserve it..
..
ok that's tough..i usually dont like talking about myself..
1) i think the best thing in me is that i see a potential teacher in everyone i meet.. there's no "he's not well educated" or "she's too snob".. if there's a chance to learn something from someone, i go and seize it.. period. Learning and acquiring new skills makes me feel alive.. a real human being, a real muslim.. at least that's what i think :)
2) okay drum roll please..
and the award goes to..
*hijab revival  of course, i have a sweet lovestory with her blog :)
*reveiling yourself
*i-hijabi  mashallah this girl is the most active one i knew in here! she writes good articles, good reviews about different products.. if u want to know something about something, check her blog!
*splendid sky
and i don't know if this is against the rules, but, i HAVE to give this award to sister rose water .. i just have to for all the reasons above..

so.. yeah.. this totally made my day :)
salams

identity crisis cure? (part2)

Hellooo ladies.. sI'm terribly sorry I didn't post anything these past weeks, I had a respiratory infection and I could barely stand on my feet.. it's all good now alhamdulillah :)

I wore the veil..
And when I did, it became so clear to me who i am, who I want to be, and how to make the transition.. 
The limits I've always tried to break throuh were boundries that defined my territory as a muslim girl, and ignoring them made me feel lost, kinda homeless..But I was numbing myself by saying that I was just being free.. in fact I was, but getting too much freedom can get you high, and we all know how an overdose can kill sometimes.
so, hijab was a reminder of these long ignored limits, and here's what i found:


1)I am a girl, but i'm not defined by my body: by ordering me to cover my figure, God is inviting me to find more ways to prove myself in.. It may be work, a hobby, helping others, whatever it is, we all have something we are great at and that can be a great fied of fulfillment!!Besides, using the mortal to define the immortal doesn't seem right to me.. 


2)I am tunisian, but the whole GOD's earth is my home.. Islam is everywhere (alhamdulillah!) and wherever I go i can definetly see hijabs! yeah, details may change from culture to another, but hijab is always the same not matter what land on the planet you're in, a constant thing in a fast changing, fashion crazy world! I hope i'm not being a math geek here, but the concept of constants relieves me :)


3)I am 21 years old, I often hear the "what do you know? you're still young!" thing and I dislike it! Yes I may be young but in islam wether you're 6 or 66 you're evenly precious because the soul that's in you is as ancient as the universe and holds all the answers within, and the culture you belong to goes back to fifteen hundred years ago.. how unique is that? :)  hijab gives me confidence as it reminds me of my strong roots.. if you know where you're from than you know where you're going :)


4)I may have various goals; become a successful doctor, lose some pounds, start a business.. but everything I do will be a constant seeking of GOD's satisfaction with me..hijab symbolizes my seek for god's satisfaction, so it helps me stay focused on that  holistic goal.  many successful bloggers, businessman, parents are muslim simply because the mindset islam offers eliminates unecessary thoughts and concerns, the only mesurement scale to use is the "is Allah satisfied" one..  they see the bigger picture and don't stand long in front of every little obstacle they come across, . This concept is life changing for me, the burdens on your shoulder's lighten up and you feel more relaxed.. 


I still have many thoughts on this subject, but let's keep it light today :)


Now, ladies, I really want to hear from you. Did hijab help you rediscover yourself?  if so, how?
I'll be waiting for your answers, you can write in the comments below or write a post about it and link it to this article.
much love :)
salma


PS: here's the link for this post's image, it's for a great artist!
http://browse.deviantart.com/?qh=&section=&global=1&q=word+hijab#/d1pl9hp

An Identity Crisis cure? (Part 1)

Q: what does this have to do with productivity?
A: If you don't know where you are, how can you possibly know where you're going, let alone excel there?


Did anyone notice how different cultures are melting together into one?
You did? Great!
Now, did anyone notice how potentially dangerous can this be to everyone of us, especially the new generations?
I'm not here to propose a miraculous solution, but sometimes asking the right questions is the first step to solving a problem, and i'm simply telling you, dear reader, what has worked for me..


I like to think of every person as a little dot, inside a small sphere, floting inside a huge, spacious sphere (I'm a math geek so i hope you'll bare my mathematical approches ^^ ). The little dots are us.. the huge sphere is what's called international culture, and that small sphere holds our personal experiences, our social standards, our beliefs..
Now as long as the small sphere is there, the balance is maintained, one can go through the world knowing whe he is and what or who to allow inside his small sphere.


As an arab muslim teen girl, there was a time, there was a time where my small sphere cracked and just broke under the pressure of the flow from the outside world. The breaking doesn't hurt, on the opposit it feels somehow refreshing, empowering to be exposed to an infinite world of possibilities, to feel united with millions and millions of others.. and that felt like a previlege I had to prove I was worthy of.. No place for your little "perfect imperfections",  so my clothing style changed, my manners, my relationships, I allowed people in my life that I'd never thought i'd let in..  I felt a bit schezophrenic as my outside didn't match my inside, but that that didn't last long as that same hand that shaped the new me, touched my beliefs. The transformation was then completed.
"Living a lie" is what describes that phase of my life best. I was constantly running, in every direction, but never really getting anywhere, because i didn't know where i stood in the first place... I was doing good at school, just for the sake of being first, I was doing good at dieting, just to fit into that dress, I was good at saving money, just to spend it on the lipstick shade that goes with the dress... It was a shallow, desperate life.. I didn't have a constant, solid base to buid a life upon, so I remained lifeless for 3 whole years.. maybe more, during which the flood has erased most of me after the breaking of my small sphere..
Traces of the old salma were still there, though, showing with very few people, the ones that were actually part of my sphere, and participated in shaping me as I grew older: my mother, my father and especially my best friend JJ who has always seen the good in me even when I didn't.. they're not the only ones, but they played the biggest roles.. and thanks to God's guidance and to them, I decided to stop the cycle..
I had 2 choices:
1) go with the flow and ignore that little voice of conscience until it's drowned under the flood
2) make a life changing decision that will turn all the pain and the losses into a fruitful journey...


I chose the second option, and I didn't think much about what this radical decision might be.. I had a pretty good idea of what I am supposed to do.. God showed me the order things should be done by, i had to start with who i am, rebuilt my identity on solid bases and go from there..


And I wore the hijab..


                                                (to be continued)


In the next post:
how did it help me find who i am?
how did breaking out from this identity crisis make me more productive?

opening post..

I wore the veil..

I wore Hijab...

Saturday march 5th, 2011, was, still is and will forever remain a remarquable date in my life, the day that witnessed the new me coming out to the light.. a new birth.. a new life.. No words in any language can describe my feelings as I walked through the door, and took my very first steps as a hijabi girl.. I guess that alone describes them..

For the first time I could sense, feel, see things around me..

I was looking at the sky, the sun and the trees surprised, and it hit me that I’ve never truly seen a blue so limpid, a yellow so shiny or a green so freshly happy!!

It’s like I’ve been seeing the world through grey glasses, dim, pale and vague..

Hijab made me take those glasses off, let’s just say they didn’t match J and the world’s colors became brighter, more real, more alive..

It's a new beginning, an overlwhelmingly fresh start and a life changing step I never thought I'll be taking anytime soon, and now that have seen the beauty of this new path, I wish I walked through it sooner..

But i would never say that i regret my old ways, or my "old" life, cuz that's what has got me here.. it's been a big maze, one hazy, rocky road but it led me to a paradise, so i'm thankful for all that i've been through.. and most of all, I’m thankful to Allah who led me to where I stand today.. So thank you Allah for your guidance..

And as I walked in life as a hijabi girl, I noticed a big increase in my daily productivity, and that’s what this blog is all about..

How can hijab make you more productive?  If you want to know the answer, keep on reading the posts in this blog. They will be posted regularly once a week as a start (every Friday).

Let us know what you think, constructive feed back is always wanted J