An Identity Crisis cure? (Part 1)

Q: what does this have to do with productivity?
A: If you don't know where you are, how can you possibly know where you're going, let alone excel there?


Did anyone notice how different cultures are melting together into one?
You did? Great!
Now, did anyone notice how potentially dangerous can this be to everyone of us, especially the new generations?
I'm not here to propose a miraculous solution, but sometimes asking the right questions is the first step to solving a problem, and i'm simply telling you, dear reader, what has worked for me..


I like to think of every person as a little dot, inside a small sphere, floting inside a huge, spacious sphere (I'm a math geek so i hope you'll bare my mathematical approches ^^ ). The little dots are us.. the huge sphere is what's called international culture, and that small sphere holds our personal experiences, our social standards, our beliefs..
Now as long as the small sphere is there, the balance is maintained, one can go through the world knowing whe he is and what or who to allow inside his small sphere.


As an arab muslim teen girl, there was a time, there was a time where my small sphere cracked and just broke under the pressure of the flow from the outside world. The breaking doesn't hurt, on the opposit it feels somehow refreshing, empowering to be exposed to an infinite world of possibilities, to feel united with millions and millions of others.. and that felt like a previlege I had to prove I was worthy of.. No place for your little "perfect imperfections",  so my clothing style changed, my manners, my relationships, I allowed people in my life that I'd never thought i'd let in..  I felt a bit schezophrenic as my outside didn't match my inside, but that that didn't last long as that same hand that shaped the new me, touched my beliefs. The transformation was then completed.
"Living a lie" is what describes that phase of my life best. I was constantly running, in every direction, but never really getting anywhere, because i didn't know where i stood in the first place... I was doing good at school, just for the sake of being first, I was doing good at dieting, just to fit into that dress, I was good at saving money, just to spend it on the lipstick shade that goes with the dress... It was a shallow, desperate life.. I didn't have a constant, solid base to buid a life upon, so I remained lifeless for 3 whole years.. maybe more, during which the flood has erased most of me after the breaking of my small sphere..
Traces of the old salma were still there, though, showing with very few people, the ones that were actually part of my sphere, and participated in shaping me as I grew older: my mother, my father and especially my best friend JJ who has always seen the good in me even when I didn't.. they're not the only ones, but they played the biggest roles.. and thanks to God's guidance and to them, I decided to stop the cycle..
I had 2 choices:
1) go with the flow and ignore that little voice of conscience until it's drowned under the flood
2) make a life changing decision that will turn all the pain and the losses into a fruitful journey...


I chose the second option, and I didn't think much about what this radical decision might be.. I had a pretty good idea of what I am supposed to do.. God showed me the order things should be done by, i had to start with who i am, rebuilt my identity on solid bases and go from there..


And I wore the hijab..


                                                (to be continued)


In the next post:
how did it help me find who i am?
how did breaking out from this identity crisis make me more productive?