there's a life after a U-turn

Assalamo alaykom..

I started this blog like 9 moths ago. 

I still remember how I felt when I uploaded that banner (that many of you liked) and chose the blog name.. I was still a newly hijabi and I had that firm dream, determination that I’m gonna do my best to tell the world about islam and that I’m going to “write to improve” myself and other.

I still remember, oh I do..

But what happened next was.. well not strange, it happens foe the best of us. I lost interest. I don’t know what made the interest evaporate but I know I lost interest in many other things along the way, and I broke too many promises I vowed to myself. And that made me depressed, and got me feeling worse..

But now I say enough is enough.. I’ve been wandering lifelessly for way too long now. I’m not saying I’ll be posting regularly here, that’s so not the point, I can post twice a day and my life would be still a mess. But what I’m saying here is that I’ll start living as the old Me again. Thank god, my religiosity is the one element that haven’t been so “disfigured” here, and that’ll be my starting block. Ain’t no other way, I  tried to induce the will from the outside but it really, really never worked. Outside motivation helps you strengthen and solidify your change, sort of “save as” for you new file, but it doesn’t create the file. I also found that no matter how someone says they love you, or are supposed to love you, they will never love you as much as Allah does, that fact always fascinates me. So if my god loves the most, shouldn’t I love him and obey him the most? And doesn’t that mean I should turn to him instead of seeking outsider advice? Yes! Of course yes!! So I’ll keep reminding myself of that..

Insha’allah I’ll be writing about my "hopefully-soon-to-be-called-previous" issues here, and theses aren't just my issues, they're universal issues if i may say so. I’ll express my opinion and I’d love to know what you readers think of that. Your constructive opinions matter to me. A nice critique is always welcome, but just make sure it’s like rain that gently makes you grow, not a rainy strom that tears you down (thanks jiji <3 )

I’m just beginning, the pen’s in my hand.. =)