..so mad i had to write!!

i just listened to the most rediculous nonsense i've ever heard on my life..
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(and oh, i probably need to start writing when i'm feeling good too :S )
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i'm getting ready for exams, i just finished a few chapters and i wanted to get some rest before i attack the next chunk of material. it's late and everyone is asleep, so i turned to my loyal entertainer in times of need, youtube.
i was going through some channels i'm subscribed to, and i found a video where the girl was talking so enthusiastically about a book 'the headfountains' by a certain writer i never heard of, 'ayn... something'. being a bookwarm myself, i googled the book and youtubed the writer, looking for an interview with him/her (the name can't really tell, huh?).
and i found a few interviews. and i picked one that was titled 'the morality of altruism', thought, it'd be an intresting topic.
"altruism is evil"... she said it with a sneaky hateful look, eyes that are filled with a combination of doubt, unrest and.. well, evil! i picked another video of hers about morality, she was repeating the same words, with the same doubtful voice..
i felt something wasn't right.. altruism is evil? i did my search on wikipedia and found the she's an atheist. she used to be a jew, but then gave up on the idea of God and chose reason, as she said in another video of hers.
the show host asked her: "what is the purpose of life?" and she said "i guess your question is wrong, one should ask what's the purpose of MY life, what's the purpose of YOUR life, because asking a general question like this implies that there's an extraordinary being that controls life and that sets the goal of it, the goal we need to find and fulfill. and that's just not true."
i'm astonished. how can someone be so clever, so mindful to hit that point, but give it up and not accept that there IS a god? what is about the idea of God that makes it so "unreasonable" like she said? because she can't see it? well she can't see air as well. because it speaks to emotions and faith only? well if she had a look on the previous messengers' stories, she'd know that religion has catered the human mind since the very start, took it from complete ignorance and helped it develop by making it think, gently taking it from the ages of miracles like mose's trip through the sea and jesus's creation with no father, to the ages of logic and mind. and the mind was forced to start to function and think when our beloved messenger (pbuh) was sent, he had no super miracles, he had no jaw-dropping magic tricks, he had logic, strong arguments, an unshakable belief in his message that made people around him think about it. THINK. that's reason, right? and thinking is what made islam thrive later.
as i went through this woman's videos, (not all of them anyways, i was intrested in knowing the reasons behind her rejecting her religion, but there was so many nonsense i couldn't watch more than four) i was remembering  theverses from the quran where allah told muhammad (pbuh) that some people will forever remain ignorant despite the many signs in front of them. this meaning never hit me this hard. and this holy hadith where allah says that his mercy is coming down on his people while their ungratefulness and evil are going up to Him.. i sawit in those videos, a hateful ungratefulness. it just made me sad. but also made me thank god he made me able to differenciate between good and bad, and made me want to be a better person, to give and to volanteer, to be a display of altruism, so that the misguided ayn something and her likes don't rule the world with their wrong thoughts, and to balence whatever negative energy they're sending to the world.
love and giving is what this world needs, ayn not self worshipping and definitely not stopping the wonderful cercle of giving. what counts is how many lives you touch, not how many things you did to satisfy your own desires. and for some people, giving satifies a certain desire, fills a certain void in their deep... oh, sorry, i guess you have no idea what that means. anyway, try to look at this picture.. the world does need more giving cercles.. and by the way, do you know why poorer people are almost always the happiest? because they have so little they're not afraid to lose it, and that makes more more ready to give, them, who need to be given. they'd share a spoonful of rice, or a sip of milk. they're free, more free then the most of us. i think you need to spend a month or two with some somailan tribes, it'll be a soul cleansing exper.. oh, right.. you never believed in souls. i wonder if you do believe in afterlife now that you're 6 feet underground.

Define REAL..

What is real? is it the life we live? or the better live we thrive for? is it what we see on TV or NOT what we see on TV? is it what hurts, ir what makes you smile?
what is real?
I've been having this question playing in my head for quite some time now.. not sure why..
Maybe because I've been feeling like I'm living out of the script of my life, that all that's around isn't real, and that I should hang on until REAL unfolds..
Maybe because i've read that all of what happens, happens only in our heads. happenings are neutral, they just happen, but it's the reading, the interpretation we project on them that give them meaning, either one we like, or one we dislike..
Maybe because even in medecine, we've learnt that what the eyes see isn't what the object is about, and that your sensed can trick, lure you, deceive you, manipulate you..


what is real then? what is REAL?
I'm currently still in the long confusing process of figuring that out, but I do know it doesn't have anything to do with senses, that it starts with the heart/mind, it doesn't matter who is leading who as long as they're dancing together harmoniously..




That's a place to start...

what defines me..

i'm not sure if that's a question or the beginning of an answer.. but i do know it's a place to start, and it's leading me somewhere..

i've recntly read a quote, someone said that we are defined by what we resist. i found that laughably wrong at first, but after giving it a thought, it didn't seem that wrong..
we are defined by the things we don't want in our lives, if we allow them to control our thinking.. the minute we start thinking 'i don't want this' and 'i don't want that', 'this' and 'that' start manifesting themselves in your lives.. simply because that's all you're focusing on.
and it makes sense, actually. i know this very well as i went through it. instead of focusing on what i wanted, i was focusing on what i didn't want. result? more of what i didn't want in my life, which made me think more about what i don't want, and gave me more of it.. a never ending vicious cycle.
the good news is that it's breakable. the minute you decide to start focusing on what you want, it starts manifesting, reveiling itself. and even better, when what you want is what you have, you have solved the equation of eternal happiness.

so.. that's the recipe you and i should be following:
1/be thankful
2/think of what you want
3/embrace what live gives you and don't resist..

so when you focus on life, on possibilities, on all that can be, only then you'll be undefined, unlimited, as big as life..

live happily everyone =)

midnight thought.

If you don't do it for you, if it doesn't start from within, it simply won't last.

there's a life after a U-turn

Assalamo alaykom..

I started this blog like 9 moths ago. 

I still remember how I felt when I uploaded that banner (that many of you liked) and chose the blog name.. I was still a newly hijabi and I had that firm dream, determination that I’m gonna do my best to tell the world about islam and that I’m going to “write to improve” myself and other.

I still remember, oh I do..

But what happened next was.. well not strange, it happens foe the best of us. I lost interest. I don’t know what made the interest evaporate but I know I lost interest in many other things along the way, and I broke too many promises I vowed to myself. And that made me depressed, and got me feeling worse..

But now I say enough is enough.. I’ve been wandering lifelessly for way too long now. I’m not saying I’ll be posting regularly here, that’s so not the point, I can post twice a day and my life would be still a mess. But what I’m saying here is that I’ll start living as the old Me again. Thank god, my religiosity is the one element that haven’t been so “disfigured” here, and that’ll be my starting block. Ain’t no other way, I  tried to induce the will from the outside but it really, really never worked. Outside motivation helps you strengthen and solidify your change, sort of “save as” for you new file, but it doesn’t create the file. I also found that no matter how someone says they love you, or are supposed to love you, they will never love you as much as Allah does, that fact always fascinates me. So if my god loves the most, shouldn’t I love him and obey him the most? And doesn’t that mean I should turn to him instead of seeking outsider advice? Yes! Of course yes!! So I’ll keep reminding myself of that..

Insha’allah I’ll be writing about my "hopefully-soon-to-be-called-previous" issues here, and theses aren't just my issues, they're universal issues if i may say so. I’ll express my opinion and I’d love to know what you readers think of that. Your constructive opinions matter to me. A nice critique is always welcome, but just make sure it’s like rain that gently makes you grow, not a rainy strom that tears you down (thanks jiji <3 )

I’m just beginning, the pen’s in my hand.. =)

yaaaay :)

i've been away for a while, i know, i know.. don't shoot me !!
internet issues here in my country! but if that's the cost of freedom, then sure i can go a few days without internet..facebook..blogger.... ='(
anyways.. now that the connection is fine, i'll seize the chance to say "thaaaaaaaaaank you to sister rosewater for giving me the butterfly award..

She's just the sweetest butterfly herself.. i mean, i know many good bloggers around here, but this woman writes with such a passion and love for life and for islam and with such care for details that most of us ignore (did you girls see how she wrote our names and our blog titles?) that you can't help but read..dive in her reflections and thoughts.. and enjoy..

so.. game rules:
1)write something nice about yourself
2) pass the award to other people you think they deserve it..
..
ok that's tough..i usually dont like talking about myself..
1) i think the best thing in me is that i see a potential teacher in everyone i meet.. there's no "he's not well educated" or "she's too snob".. if there's a chance to learn something from someone, i go and seize it.. period. Learning and acquiring new skills makes me feel alive.. a real human being, a real muslim.. at least that's what i think :)
2) okay drum roll please..
and the award goes to..
*hijab revival  of course, i have a sweet lovestory with her blog :)
*reveiling yourself
*i-hijabi  mashallah this girl is the most active one i knew in here! she writes good articles, good reviews about different products.. if u want to know something about something, check her blog!
*splendid sky
and i don't know if this is against the rules, but, i HAVE to give this award to sister rose water .. i just have to for all the reasons above..

so.. yeah.. this totally made my day :)
salams

identity crisis cure? (part2)

Hellooo ladies.. sI'm terribly sorry I didn't post anything these past weeks, I had a respiratory infection and I could barely stand on my feet.. it's all good now alhamdulillah :)

I wore the veil..
And when I did, it became so clear to me who i am, who I want to be, and how to make the transition.. 
The limits I've always tried to break throuh were boundries that defined my territory as a muslim girl, and ignoring them made me feel lost, kinda homeless..But I was numbing myself by saying that I was just being free.. in fact I was, but getting too much freedom can get you high, and we all know how an overdose can kill sometimes.
so, hijab was a reminder of these long ignored limits, and here's what i found:


1)I am a girl, but i'm not defined by my body: by ordering me to cover my figure, God is inviting me to find more ways to prove myself in.. It may be work, a hobby, helping others, whatever it is, we all have something we are great at and that can be a great fied of fulfillment!!Besides, using the mortal to define the immortal doesn't seem right to me.. 


2)I am tunisian, but the whole GOD's earth is my home.. Islam is everywhere (alhamdulillah!) and wherever I go i can definetly see hijabs! yeah, details may change from culture to another, but hijab is always the same not matter what land on the planet you're in, a constant thing in a fast changing, fashion crazy world! I hope i'm not being a math geek here, but the concept of constants relieves me :)


3)I am 21 years old, I often hear the "what do you know? you're still young!" thing and I dislike it! Yes I may be young but in islam wether you're 6 or 66 you're evenly precious because the soul that's in you is as ancient as the universe and holds all the answers within, and the culture you belong to goes back to fifteen hundred years ago.. how unique is that? :)  hijab gives me confidence as it reminds me of my strong roots.. if you know where you're from than you know where you're going :)


4)I may have various goals; become a successful doctor, lose some pounds, start a business.. but everything I do will be a constant seeking of GOD's satisfaction with me..hijab symbolizes my seek for god's satisfaction, so it helps me stay focused on that  holistic goal.  many successful bloggers, businessman, parents are muslim simply because the mindset islam offers eliminates unecessary thoughts and concerns, the only mesurement scale to use is the "is Allah satisfied" one..  they see the bigger picture and don't stand long in front of every little obstacle they come across, . This concept is life changing for me, the burdens on your shoulder's lighten up and you feel more relaxed.. 


I still have many thoughts on this subject, but let's keep it light today :)


Now, ladies, I really want to hear from you. Did hijab help you rediscover yourself?  if so, how?
I'll be waiting for your answers, you can write in the comments below or write a post about it and link it to this article.
much love :)
salma


PS: here's the link for this post's image, it's for a great artist!
http://browse.deviantart.com/?qh=&section=&global=1&q=word+hijab#/d1pl9hp